An introduction? I didn't get to plan a...
Well, while we're here, let's take a few,
To outline my life, thus far for you:
The product I'm pushing? My personality.
I have no cause. Free to you, free to me.
I studied in college to get my degree,
In neuro-bio and phys-iol-o-gy.
This wasn't enough to build a career.
A master's might make my dreams adhere?
Community Health and Administration.
Chyeah! I went for that dual concentration!
I can't see the future, yet people ask me.
How my life after grad school is going to be.
I suffered injuries; I'm being repaired.
To live my best life. I feel unprepared.
Socioeconomically, I have higher education,
But for status, I need income and occupation.
I'm jobless, not for a lack of motivation.
I fear uncertainty and seek validation.
I think I'm having an existential crisis.
Burdened by hypothetical sacrifices.
What should I do for the rest of my life?
Do I want to work or be a housewife?
Not that the two are mutually exclusive,
Trying to measure my worth proves elusive.
Am I valued by what I achieve?
Is my identity in what I believe?
This is a lot to unload in a greeting.
I am truly grateful for finally meeting.
My claim to fame, I must proclaim,
Is a word game to remember my name:
A to the double eN
back to the A again.
Add a little 'Kay-I-eM:
Anna Kim!
***
ADDENDUM:
I applied for a job that suits me perfectly.
The commute is great. I need money urgently.
If I wish out loud, will it not come true?
Would you wish, hope, and pray I get it too?
***
ADDENDUM II:
I'm moving in a different direction.
I just think I fell in love with affection.
I don't seem to do too well with rejection.
My bruised ego, now, yearns for protection.
I want to sow myself some seeds of hope.
At the moment, my mechanism to cope,
Stems from an idea to foster some skills.
I doubt that it will ever cover my bills.
Lower expectations don't disappoint us.
My motivation is not to be famous.
I am not a singer; I can just carry a tune.
Constant criticism might make me immune.
My goal is to toughen my skin.
I am too sensitive and fragile within.
The natural healers have eternally been:
Time and Music; thus, let us begin.
ADDENDUM III:
I found my purpose, after some tangents.
Fear God and keep his commandments,
For this is the whole duty of a man.
No fear of uncertainty—all in God's plan.
The meaning of life is simply love.
However, simple is not easy to get hold of.
I have resolved my existential crisis;
I know life's: purpose, meaning, and devices.
What I learned is not specific to me.
They're truths, and truths set you free.
I found answers to the wrong questions.
Knowing what to ask, I'm making corrections:
What is my calling? What should I do?
Every season of life, the calling is new.
Is it time to shine or shine light on another?
Is it the season to learn, work, or mother?
Still searching for the secret ingredient?
I think it's just enough faith to be obedient.
I was called to give up status and stability.
I should never rely on my own ability.
Persevere to overcome times you face.
Slow and steady—doesn't win the race.
Just steady, you can work your own pace.
Have confidence; you're in the right place.
Hindsight is 20/20, looking back I see,
I'm so far from where I thought I would be,
But I'm still alive. My life has not ended.
I'm living a life more fulfilling than I intended.
***
ADDENDUM IV:
I wrote two addenda before COVID hit.
I still have no covers, but I refuse to quit.
What would I do once this site is complete?
Are there more hurdles I dare to defeat?
Healthcare's not hiring; I'm in no employ.
Claiming global pandemic as my decoy.
When I over-edit I tend to destroy,
But creating content is what I enjoy.
I still plan to sing, so I ask you to stay.
Of what I set out, I'm carving away.
I have nothing to show for years gone by,
Because I gave my newer projects a try:
I'm an adult quarantined with her parents.
Failure to launch #TrappedAdolescents
Ultimately, I have myself to blame.
I'm not proud, yet I feel no shame.
I'm less of a parasite this time around.
I do all the chores while I'm home-bound.
I cook 18 meals throughout the week,
Constantly perfecting my cooking technique.
I wash and fold laundry; I sweep the floors.
I sanitize phones and the handles of doors.
My parents aren't dirty, but they aren't clean.
They shower everyday; they're pretty pristine,
But they touch their faces and their masks.
They don't wash their hands after most tasks.
Please, 20 seconds WITH soap and water.
They're my kids, but I'm the daughter.
It doesn't suck to be health educated.
Our corona habits are better regulated.
To my parents, I'm totally dedicated.
I learned to cut hair. So domesticated!
Stay-at-home mom? It's like I'm training.
I'd like to marry first, but dating is draining.
On the market too long, so call me clearance.
Which is fine, I have a youthful appearance.
Aware that love's a fool's paradise?
Hush and take me at the discount price.
For you? I'll throw in my dysfunctional family,
Free of charge! Let's get married, live happily.
Jokes aside, you can stop reading here.
Up to the next two lines, if you must peer.
Last warning (I just want to denote...)
I don't want to shove Jesus down your throat.
If religion offends you, I bid you farewell.
Doing good deeds won't keep me from hell.
This is the only legacy I want to leave:
Salvation is through grace alone, and I believe.
Is there such thing as being too religious?
I fear sounding self-righteous and prestigious.
I am not perfect; I have a bad temper.
I struggle all the time—always, sempre.
I'm also prone to pride; I openly confess.
Even without monetary gain, worldly success.
Achieved on my own I'd be intolerable.
My sinful heart is already abominable.
"—works of God might be displayed in me."
That was my twenty-eighteen mentality.
The next year, I said, "Take care of yourself."
Spiritually awake, once dormant on a shelf.
Because I only read a chapter a day.
The Bible takes years to read all the way.
I don't understand everything I read.
I subsidize with sermons; then, I proceed.
Why did I include this religious raving?
Grandkids are what my parents are craving.
I want to honor my mother and father,
And I'm at the age, people start to bother.
Marriage isn't promised, Biblically told.
It's a distraction, to have and to hold.
Spending single years to shape and mold,
A gospel foundation to build a stronghold.
First let me deal with my financial baggage.
Of another's wealth, I won't take advantage.
Maybe someday, I'll have a chance to marry,
But in a christian life, results may vary.
Stay home. Stay safe.
Written: December 20, 2015 Revised: January 8, 2018 & August 25, 2020 Addendum: May 8, 2019
Addendum II: October 31, 2019 Addendum III: January 19, 2020 Addendum IV: September 2, 2020
Study hard, and be evil.'